A Vet Nurse Experiencing Workplace Bullying

Meet a vet nurse:

For those of you living through dire days due to workplace bullying, here is my story…

Be they peers or bosses, bullying colleagues unquestionably make you dread walking into work.

I’m here to tell you that, if you believe in yourself, your mental well-being does not have to suffer, and there are ways to bring your mind to a better place.

My story starts as a student veterinary nurse, a career that I had always dreamed of pursuing. When I was little, I always wanted to work with animals, and now I was doing just that.

Going to work every day was an absolute joy. I couldn’t wait for the next day to come around because each day was different with new learning experiences.

If only these pleasant feelings were to continue. Unfortunately, due to certain people whom I worked with, my dream soon became a living nightmare and those pleasant feelings faded away.

The bullying started with petty comments, which I initially simply shrugged off. My inner mind told me not to be silly and that I was being stupid for taking all this to heart. Surely these people cannot be so nasty, I thought.

So it must just be my imagination running wild. But as each day went by, I soon realised that, because one person had got away with either speaking badly to me or ripping me apart, others felt that they could follow suit.

A family member always said to me “behaviour breeds behaviour”, and in my case, they were totally right.

As I already mentioned, being a veterinary nurse had always been my dream job. I studied furiously, and my learning did not stop at college or during my work placement but rather continued at home.

I was always reading, trying to absorb more and more information. I often wonder now whether the bullying started because of this.

Maybe I made others feel inferior and inadequate. Whatever the reason, my hunger for learning was never meant to harm anyone.

As the bullying persisted, the calm, confident person that I became after having qualified as a vet nurse slowly seeped away from me.

I was overtaken with fear, anxiety, depression and lack of self-worth. I doubted every single thing I did and made silly mistakes.

It was even noticed by one of my managers that I was a completely different person. But despite them being aware of the issues causing this, nothing was resolved.

What started out as small bitchy comments from one team member to another suddenly grew into a whole clique forming within the team.

One conversation I got to learn about was one bully saying to another team member “you’ve shot yourself in the foot by choosing to associate with certain people”. That was aimed at me.

Simply, if you didn’t fit in with their “clique” you weren’t accepted. You were talked about and your work life was made a misery. This happened to several other team members, not just myself.

On the mornings driving to work, I would suffer from panic attacks. I used to cry at the wheel and dread to go inside. I had irregular heartbeats and completely lost my confidence.

On several occasions, the way I was feeling even impacted my personal life; home didn’t feel like home anymore.

By October of that year, I’d had enough. I booked an appointment to talk with my doctor, who allowed me a few weeks off work. It was certainly a relief, but still daunting to know I’d need to go back at some point.

When I did return, I made one last attempt to be a part of the team, but the way they treated me remained all the same. I and other colleagues who were receiving the same treatment were dismissed, excluded from lunchtime conversation, and even completely ignored at the Christmas party.

Anytime there was a reason to celebrate in work such as birthdays – opening of presents, cutting the cake or eating pizza were all done privately. If I tried to join in, they simply got up and walked out of the room – I was so fed up.

I really think that people don’t understand the negative effects they have on others when they do nasty things. To them, it may be a minor issue, but when other people join in, something so minor will actually become massive for that individual.

Between Christmas and New Year, I had more time to reflect on my work life and decided enough was enough. I threw in the towel as I realised nothing would ever change. And for the sake of my health, I couldn’t continue working with this toxic team.

I’d often thought about becoming a locum vet nurse, but I always feared I wouldn’t get work, meaning no money, which would make things worse. I had only been qualified for nine months and worried I didn’t have enough experience.

A family member spoke to me who had been through a similar situation with his company and helped me gain the confidence to take that leap of faith.

After working my notice, I started locumming in March 2020, just as the first COVID-19 lockdown hit. With my confidence already being through the floor, you could say starting work as a self-employed locum in the middle of a pandemic was a bad move and yes, it did slightly knock me again.

However, I was able to come through this and continue to work with only four weeks on a reduced workload during the entire pandemic.

Since leaving that toxic environment, work-life now has been totally different. As a locum, I don’t worry about getting involved in any of the politics in practices or people’s affairs.

I go in, do my job and leave without getting caught up in people’s complicated work lives. I am admired by others from different practices and regularly asked back to work there.

Students feel comfortable approaching me and asking for my help. This is a testament to the fact that I am that veterinary nurse who started on this dream journey.

I truly believe that, if such people were to sit down and think about their nasty remarks and realise the impact they can have on others’ lives, they would keep quiet.

It wasn’t any of those individual bullies that caused my problems, but rather the collectiveness of them all that pushed me over the edge.

If you can relate to what I have said in this post, make a change and do it for YOU. My change was that I walked away and started afresh by locumming because it suited me best at the time.

This may not be what everybody chooses to do, but in my case, by making that leap, I have regained back my confidence; and you may too.

I finish work each day feeling proud of what I have achieved and looking forward to repeating it the next day. It’s great having those old pleasant feelings back.

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Thank you to the vet nurse who was brave enough to write this post and share their experience with others.

Vetlife is a charity which offers free, confidential support for the veterinary community during difficult times.

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