Lauren graduated from university in 2016 and has since been working at small animal practices in the North West. She is passionate about all aspects of nursing, particularly animal welfare, feline and exotic nursing and nurse consulting.
Meet Lauren:
Anxiety is a perfectly normal emotion to feel. For example, sitting an exam or starting a new job does commonly cause anxiety. However, it can become a serious issue when it starts to take over one’s life.
The veterinary practice can at times be a stressful environment to work in. It’s a profession that requires holding ourselves to high standards to provide quality care for patients and clients. This can result in many practitioners experiencing anxiety; including me.
I can’t exactly pinpoint when I noticed that my anxiety was regularly affecting me. I’m aware that I have always struggled to relax; constantly thinking about how I could improve, or questioning if I have forgotten something.
I know my anxiety reared its ugly head before I stepped into the veterinary world, but it went out of control after I started my student vet nurse training.
I find I am incessantly thinking about all the what if’s and the did I’s. It manifests itself in worrying thoughts such as “what if I gave that client incorrect advice” and “did I lock the door” or “did I send the order”.
It’s natural at times to doubt ourselves and to trust our gut instinct. But what if our brains tell us to constantly doubt every little thing? This is then far too much.
We work in a profession where we have to double-check our work, be it with our colleagues or just ourselves. I would put a lot of pressure on myself to never get anything wrong.
I started to realise it was becoming unhealthy when I was constantly worried and a persistent niggling thought would not go away. I couldn’t ever relax, not even at home.
I would struggle to sleep because I was too busy thinking about everything I potentially didn’t do and doubting everything I did do that day. My sleep was also disturbed; if I had five hours, I would consider that a good night’s sleep.
Sitting at home, I could be having a perfectly normal conversation with my partner, and then suddenly go quiet as some anxious thought popped into my head. I was irritable and would occasionally snap at people when I normally wouldn’t dream of doing so.
I would often feel nauseous. My anxiety grew into a dark shadow that loomed over me and I struggled to shake it off.
These feelings would be exacerbated when the work pressure piled up. I worked in a clinic where I rarely had a full-hour lunch and generally never finished a shift on time.
The break room was ill-suited for not providing a quiet place for much-needed downtime, so I could never switch off. All this created a constant battle.
How can you look after yourself when you can not have a rest? How can you try to look after yourself when the workplace environment, both physical and emotional, will not allow you to?
I think people are quite surprised when I tell them how I feel, especially as I quite often have a happy-go-lucky attitude about many things in life.
I’m a very outgoing person who is always up for a laugh and a joke. However, this is when I realised I needed to talk. Just because I appeared fine on the outside, it did not mean I wasn’t struggling on the inside.
Talking with friends and colleagues about how I felt helped. It was here that I discovered I was not alone and that some of my colleagues also had similar anxious thoughts about work. This strengthened our bond and I now consider them as dear friends for life.
Talking to my partner and family was also a great help, and it ultimately concluded with me taking time off work and not thinking or talking about it.
Having this time off made me realise that not constantly thinking about work did not mean I was not a dedicated veterinary nurse.
Outside of work I try to eat healthier and have a proper meal at night rather than snacking. I make sure to regularly go outside in the fresh air, which instantly makes me feel better. Even having downtime hobbies helps.
I love to cook, knit and play Scrabble. Although these may seem like simple steps, they are vitally important to me. Even if I don’t stick to them 80% of the time, I at least try.
Looking after yourself enables you to provide better care for patients and clients as well.
These last twelve months have been a great learning curve for me. I decided to accept a job at another clinic, which turned out to be the best decision I have made in my career.
The pandemic hit just as I started this job. It was stressful, of course, but I knew I was in the right place. I soon realised I was somewhere I felt I was able to provide the quality of nursing I know I can deliver.
My team encourages one another and we openly share thoughts and ideas. We work hard but also have a laugh. The most important thing for me is that I feel supported by every single person who shares the same vision.
To this day, I still get shocked when I’m asked a simple question such as “have you had a break yet?”. This should not be uncommon to hear. Working in an environment like the one I currently do should be the norm, but for some reason, it’s not.
Work should be a safe and comfortable place, and yet mental health issues account for a large proportion of working days lost.
Anxious feelings like the ones I have experienced seem to be a regular occurrence. I believe anxiety affects us all, to a certain degree, at some point in our lives, and this is not necessarily a bad feeling to have. When it starts to take over your day-to-day life that is what is worrying.
I don’t know if I will ever be 100% free from anxiety; this is a part of me that will probably be around no matter what. I will, however, continue to try and deal with it in any way I can.
I do believe that a nurturing, empowering and “no blame” work culture will truly help others who are struggling within this industry. It is easy to get lost in a fog of anxiety and stress. If you struggle, please do talk about it. Trust me when I say you are not alone.
Vetlife is a charity which offers free, confidential support for the veterinary community during difficult times.
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